Pushy or Persistent?
What's the difference between pushy and persistent? How do you follow up without being a pest? How do you avoid being 'that guy' while still managing to be effective?
These are big questions, and I don't know that I can be specific enough for each of you in a relatively short piece to answer all of them, but let me underscore some concepts for you, and reach out to me with further questions if you'd like to go deeper.
I think the biggest difference between being persistent and being pushy has nothing to do with frequency or cadence. I think it has everything to do with the value you provide in your touch points. If you have nothing of value to bring, and I can see no reason to meet with you or even call you back, then it doesn't matter how frequently (or infrequently) you call. Simply put, if they're not interested, it's because you're not interesting.
Persistence, by and large, it tolerable by your prospects and clients if they see that things are progressing toward a reasonable end at a pace they're comfortable with. This is opposed to pushiness, which is when you try to make things happen faster than they'd like and force the issue. Remember, your buyer's urgency is almost never the same as yours, so don't confuse your sales process with their buying process.
Let me illustrate something for you. Say a college student, let's call him Jack, sees a woman named Jill in a classroom. Jack would like to ask Jill to go out and get some water. He learns where she lives, her class schedule, and makes sure he just happens to be seen almost everywhere she goes.
Here's where the scene cuts and I speak directly to the camera a la 'The Office' or Ferris Bueller- whatever your vintage...
"If this sounds really creepy, you’re not alone. Jack’s a good guy, with good intentions. Yet it also sounds a lot like the prospecting and "social listening" techniques you've seen promoted. Sure, there's nothing illegal or even immoral about this kind of data, but there's a fine line between being thorough and being a creep. I suggest you check in with yourself often..."
Now back to the scene...
The Pushy Approach
Jack asks Jill out. Upon being turned down, he asks again, and again, each time providing no additional value to the potential relationship, but simply trying to overcome Jill's objections by suggesting additional places, times, etc. Simply not taking 'no' for an answer is not the same as overcoming an objection.
It's not long before this is becomes borderline abusive, and even deplorable behavior. Jack may even believe he's good for Jill, but unless she starts to see that, it doesn't matter. He's abdicated his responsibility of showing her how and why in a manner she can understand and appreciate. Eventually, he’ll give up and go find someone else to annoy.
The Persistent Approach
Let's take these same two characters and reset the scenario. Jack thinks that he and Jill could be something someday. Perhaps he even goes back to his dorm after class picturing a few kids and home on a hill with a well. At the same time, he knows Jill has no context for that daydream yet. He's got work to do, and she'll give him the cues as to when things can advance.
So maybe he sits a little closer to her in the lecture hall. Maybe he invites her into his study group where he can demonstrate that he's smart, funny, and even clever sometimes. Maybe that leads to an invitation to a party with a group of friends. They start to hang out more regularly, and Jack gauges that there's some chemistry there. Jack asks her out, she accepts, and they all live happily ever after.
The Difference
What's different about these two stories here is not Jack's intent. It's not even in his value, it's in his patience. These are the same two characters! He's not trying to force anything, but he's reading the signs and understanding whether or not Jill appreciates the message and the value he's trying to convey before taking the next step of actually asking her out.
You can't make someone buy if they're not ready to, regardless of how valuable your offering is. If your prospect doesn't perceive that value, then it makes no sense to force them into the next step in your process. you have to make sure there is alignment before you move forward.
Even when there is alignment, you can't guarantee it all the way through to a successful conclusion. Maybe Jill has a boyfriend, and she and Jack will never date. Maybe they go out a few times and realize there isn't a whole lot more there, and they break up. What's important with this relationship, and any other, is that there is congruence when it comes to what the next steps should be.
Pests don't care about congruence. They're willing to annoy you if it means that they get what they want. 'That Guy' is in the same boat.
In sales, you need to be persistent, but you will never win in the long term by being pushy. It's important to know the difference.
What do you think? Join the conversation in the Rethink The Way You Sell Community.
Jeff Bajorek
Real. Authentic. Experience.
There’s a big difference between knowing how to sell and being able to. Jeff Bajorek spent over a decade in the field as a top performer. He’s been in your shoes. He knows what it will take. He can help you succeed.
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